Fun with Omegle: Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.

(FYI: The "You" part of the conversation is me, and the "Stranger" part of the conversation is the other [unfortunate] person talking to me.)

Stranger: hi, asl?
You: Hello!
You: I'm from Mars!! Would you believe that?
Stranger: no
Stranger: ahaahha
You: =[
Stranger: seriously, where u from ?
You: Do you have something against martians?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i like UFOs
You: Then why wouldn't you believe me??
Stranger: and aliens
Stranger: cause there arent any proofs of existing martians
You: Me!
You: Like, how do you know I didn't crash here in Roswell in 1947?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: i know about this
You: We're not all green and weird and evil, you know.
Stranger: really ? i just thought that you were peacfull
Stranger: i guess that im right
You: You are!
You: All we want to do is make peace with Earthlings and learn from one another!
Stranger: cool
You: Okay, I'm not really an alien, but I had you going there for a minute or two!
You: I'm really a time traveler from the future.
Stranger: so show up here in my house, so we can talk
You: I can't travel anywhere, I have to stay here and monitor my Very Important Mission From The Future.
Stranger: HAHSHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH
Stranger: i laughed a lot about this
You: You think this is funny?
You: It's Very Important.
Stranger: so, tell me your mission
You: They tried to do experiments on dogs but they went very wrong so I'm back here in the future watching over the scientist and discretely making sure he doesn't wind up experiementing on dogs.
You: You see
You: the experiements
You: they...
You: well...
You: they made the dogs self-aware and as intelligent as humans.
You: And the dogs got tired of being treated like pets afterwards.
You: So they attacked like, a looooooot of people.
You: And they're trying to take over the world, back where I'm from!!
Stranger: ???????? OMG WTF ?
You: IT'S TRUE!!!
You: So many humans got rabies from the attacks.
You: And then they died.
You: Luckily, I discovered a worm hole and went through it and it took me back to this year so I am monitoring this young boy to ensure he never experiments on dogs. EVER.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: where are u ?
You: Alaska!
Stranger: cool
Stranger: is it cold there ?
You: Yeah.
You: It's freezing.
Stranger: fuck\
You: Fuck indeed!
You: Listen.
You: It goes against all the time traveling rules I made for myself
You: but
Stranger: hahahauhauha
You: would you like to help me kill this kid???
You: He's like, super annoying.
Stranger: thats a bad idea
Stranger: killing people wont solve a thing
You: But he's always tripping people and slinging rocks at them.
Stranger: so u just slap at him
You: But what if that's actually what happened in the first place to make him experiment on dogs and he INTENDED for them to try to take over humanity??
You: What if I'm the one who caused everything??? OH GOD.
You: He needs to be killed!!!
Stranger: its for humanity ?
You: Listen, I REALLY need you to come kill this kid for me.
You: I can't do it.
You: I... I've been through so much... I've seen my whole family die at the hands of the New World Order Dog Pack...
You: Well, paws, not hands.
Stranger: hahahahhahahaha
Stranger: paws
Stranger: good one
Stranger: so, just kill him
Stranger: im at south america, cant help u
You: I can't!!! I've seen so much death and murder and bloodshed!! I can't take anymore!
You: Get a boat, okay, and just row yourself up here.
Stranger: so kill him and yourself too at the and
You: I'll wait.
You: I'll wait for you!
You: I'm convinced this is what needs to happen to end this horror!!
Stranger: man
Stranger: i cant go up there
Stranger: just kill him
You: I CAN'T! Don't you see? I've been lying all this time! That boy... That boy is really me and I can't come into contact with him or the whole world implodes on itself and is destroyed! I came back here to try and find someone to kill me as a young lad!!
You: It all started when I was around this age
You: All the young boys, they taunted me, for I grew up in a wealthy family and they were jealous
You: my only friend was a dog!
Stranger: god dammit
You: And as I got older, I decided to experiment! To make them smart so I could have intelligent conversations with them!
You: And it all went wrong!!!
You: They became angry with me for using them!
You: They detested all humans!
You: They took over!
You: And it's all my fault!
You: Oh, god! It's all my fault!!
You: Please, you must help me!
You: I will send you a boat with supplies!
Stranger: ah yeah
Stranger: buddy, I CANT HELP U
Stranger: if u want to die, shoot a police officer
Stranger: then they will shoot you
You: But then... My younger self will grow up to do everything the same as it already happened!
Stranger: SO KILL YOUR YOUNGER SELF
You: BUT I ALREADY TOLD YOU, COMING INTO CONTACT WITH HIM WILL MAKE THE WORLD EXPLODE
Stranger: OR JUST PREVENT YOURSELF TO DO THAT
Stranger: so, i dont know
You: You're no help.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: cause this is false
You: This is totally 100% for-real truth.
Stranger: PROVE IT
You: HOW?
You: BY COMING INTO CONTACT WITH MY YOUNGER SELF AND THEN YOU'LL CEASE TO EXIST??
You: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Stranger: HAHAHHAH
Stranger: this is false
You: Oh ye of little faith!
Stranger: just prove that is true to me
Stranger: BUT NOT EXPLODING THE WORLD]
You: I AM NOT SURE HOW TO DO THAT
You: FINE I GUESS I WILL JUST GO EXPLODE THE WORLD.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: if youre serious, just dont do that
You: It's the only way to solve things!!
You: Have you made peace with your life?
You: Told everyone you loved them?
You: ASKED GOD TO FORGIVE YOUR SINS SO YOU DON'T GO TO HELL AFTER YOU DIE?
Stranger: god dammit, youre lying, theres no way how to do this
You: But what if I'm NOT lying???
You: What if I'm telling the truth and you are just so close-minded that you can't believe me?
You: The technology is there, man!! It's possible!!
Stranger: call the army, the police, idk
You: Like, god!! CERN is trying to re-create the big bang on a small scale! With black holes and everything!!!
You: I'm from the future, I tell you!!!!
Stranger: tell me what do you know about the future
You: I know lots! And even if you asked me a question, you couldn't know the answer was true until it happened so you'd have to wait that long, and by that time, maybe the world already exploded because I had no other choice but to come into contact with my past self!
You: What do you want to know?
Stranger: about NFL seasons
Stranger: hahahha
Stranger: kidding
Stranger: i want to know about USA
You: What about it?
Stranger: tell me what u know
You: The US never fully leaves Iraq!
Stranger: more things ! tell me more
You: It's easier if you ask questions!
Stranger: talk about random things
You: Terrorists bomb the Eiffel tower but it gets rebuilt within three years
You: With the help of the UK
You: Obama only serves one term.
Stranger: wait, UK helps to bomb or to rebuilt eiffel tower ?
You: They help rebuild the tower.
You: Sarah Palin wins presidency in 2012 and afterward republicans take control of the house and senate.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: now, about sports
Stranger: anything
You: The giants win the superbowl in 2012.
Stranger: cool !
Stranger: and in 2011 ?
You: Nadal retires from tennis in 2013
You: Novak Djokovic wins the US Open in 2011.
Stranger: climate?
You: What about the climate?
Stranger: any tragedies ?
You: DO YOU BELIEVE ME YET OR NOT???
You: I need you to help kill my present young self!
Stranger: idk what to do
You: If you don't agree to help me, then in ten minutes I am going to go come in contact with my young self and implode the world.
Stranger: do u think its easy to believe on u ?
Stranger: its tottally insane
You: Lots of things are insane.
You: Everything that exists in this world came from the big bang.
You: We all could have not existed but everything happened just the right way!
You: We have technology that allows us to talk to people all around the world.
Stranger: this is internet
You: And isn't that insane, that it exists?
You: 100 years ago if you explained the internet to people then, they'd call you insane too.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: right
Stranger: thats why u cant go to the past and talk to them
You: I discovered a wormhole to the past but couldn't pinpoint what exact point in time it would take me, it just luckily and coincidentally took me to this time.
Stranger: into alaska ?
You: Yes.
You: I was in Alaska, it just took me back in time to the exact place I was at.
You: Time travel isn't space-time travel, just time.
You: You can't go back 20 years and land on the other side of the world or something.
Stranger: this might be true
You: It is true!!
You: Fine. I'm going to go kill my younger self. Hopefully CERN was wrong in their theory that coming into contact with yourself from the past would cause such an event that the world would collapse and implode on itself!!!
You: I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED YOUR LIFE.
You: You have ten minutes to enjoy what's left!
You: Would you at least say goodbye to me?!
Stranger: man
Stranger: answer something to me
Stranger: you just want to kill your younger self, right ?
You: One last question.
You: Then I am leaving!
Stranger: so why ur asking to me, cause i said that I CANT HELP, so u have to find help anywhere near alaska, cause i cant
Stranger: like air force
Stranger: marine corps
Stranger: idk
Stranger: i cant help u
You: They don't believe me!
You: I've tried! They brush me off!
You: Everyone brushes me off!
You: I was hoping to find just a willing, helpful stranger on the internet!
You: I have nowhere else to turn to!
You: I'm so desperate!!
You: Goodbye, unhelpful stranger!
You: Hopefully your life continues and goes on well without me!
You: You have ten minutes!!
You: At least say goodbye and wish me luck!
Stranger: goodbye
Stranger: bestof luck
Stranger: dont kill the world
You: Farewell!
You have disconnected.

Fun with Omegle: Omegle is a brand-new service for meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.

(FYI: The "You" part of the conversation is me, and the "Stranger" part of the conversation is the other [unfortunate] person talking to me.)

Stranger: hey
Stranger: sexy

You: Hello, fellow brother or sister. Have you heard the Good News about our Lord Pterodactyl?

Stranger: aaahhhhh run

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: are u girl

You: Yes.

Stranger: nice
Stranger: from and age

You: I am from Australia, I am 17 years old.

Stranger: im 17 and im from greece

You: I come here today to ask you an important question. Have you heard the Good News about our Lord Pterodactyl? He has big, big plans in store for you, His beloved child.

Stranger: have u got msn?

You: Have you heard the Good News, my fellow child of Lord Pterodactyl?
You: He loves you with all His heart, you know.
You: Open your heart, let his love come screeching in to your soul.

Stranger: have u got msn?
Stranger: can u give me ur msn?
Stranger: please

You: What is msn?

Stranger: messenger

You: I am here to share the Good News. Would you like to hear it?
You: We are all here to reproduce and spread the love of Lord Pterodactyl.

Stranger: give me ur msn
Stranger: i wanna see uon webcam

You: He wants us to multiply.

Stranger: show me ur boobs

You: He wants us to experience His love through the joys of sexual intercourse. He wants us to know how much He loves us.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey

You: Why is nobody listening to me! The world is ending tomorrow, I swear to you, masses of people will die, you need to know how to save yourself!!!

Stranger: What's on your mind right now?
Stranger: except of that

You: People are going to die!
You: Don't you want to know how to save yourself?!?!?!?!
You: Nobody is listening!
You: NOBODY BELIEVES ME
You: BUT I HAVE PROOF
You: PLEASE save yourself!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello

You: We must be quick!

Stranger: what

You: The world is ending tomorrow, masses of people are going to die! You need to know how to SAVE YOURSELF
You: Nobody is listening to me
You: but I have proof!!!
You: You need to know how to save yourself!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

So, for a while I've wanted to do this but kind of hesitated because it basically ruins the big plot twist of my favorite book, but whatever. My favorite book, as you may or may not know, is Looking For Alaska, by John Green. I wish everyone would go read this book because it's so amazing, and I always thought that if someone read the ending of the book, it would convince them that this was definitely a book worth reading. So, I decided to read it to you guys!

Yes, there is a spoiler, but trust me, the book is very much still worth reading knowing the spoiler, and while it does ruin the surprise, it does not ruin anything else. Trust me!! Definitely go out and buy this book, it's well worth your money.

Also, please forgive me for the sheer crap quality of my mic! It sucks, I need a new one.

For your reference, here's what "the labyrinth" and "the Great Perhaps" that are referenced in the passage, straight from the book itself, followed by the voice post:

"So this guy," I said, standing in the doorway of the living room. "Francois Rebelais. He was this poet. And his last words were 'I go to seek a Great Perhaps.' That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps."

"Okay, Mr. Famous Last Words Boy. I have one for you." She reached into her overstuffed backpack and pulled out a book. "Gabriel García Márquez. The General in His Labyrinth. Absolutely one of my favorites. It's about Simón Bolívar." I didn't know who Simón Bolívar was, but she didn't give me time to ask. "It's a historical novel, so I don't know if this is true, but in the book, do you know what his last words are? No, you don't. But I am about to tell you, Señor Parting Remarks."

...

"'He' - that's Simón Bolívar - 'was shaken by the overwhelming revelation that the headlong race between his misfortunes and his dreams was at that moment reaching the finish line. The rest was darkness. "Damn it," he sighed. "How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!" ' "

I knew great last words when I heard them, and I made a mental note to get ahold of a biography of this Simón Bolívar fellow. Beautiful last words, but I didn't quite understand. "So what's the labyrinth?" I asked her.

...

Her mouth close enough to me that I could feel her breath warmer than the air, she said, "That's the mystery, isn't it? Is the labyrinth living or dying? Which is he trying to escape - the world, or the end of it?"

Okay so I know I just did a for-the-lulz post earlier, but I was reading the comments of the ONTD post about how Heidi Montag's debut album "Superficial" only sold 658 copies in its first week (which is lolworthy in itself) and came across the following comment thread. I loled pretty hard.

msmargaritasalt:


----- ljok_0: i feel like this can be used in so many situations and never get old

---------- loveindisaster: ia. can't stop looking at it. i feel like he's approving of my life and suddenly i feel good about spending 15 hours a day online.

Well, when you put it that way... Thank you, Nick Lachey, for making me feel better about my own personal internet addiction!!

As a side note. Please feel free to post any gifs you love. Because gifs are made of win and awesome.

Okay so more crap's been going on which has delayed my posting a "real entry" to this journal. I'll (hopefully) get around to it sometime within the next couple days. But in any case, here's some junk I've bookmarked so I could post it in here. Maybe this will tide y'all over until I actually post? It's not much but still. Enjoy the bits of random-ness. =]

This made me lol. From http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/42651604.html, "ONTD // Brooke Shields Tells Miley to Go to College. Debate Ensues":

courtneyfrances: also a peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. discuss. talk amongst yoselves.

----- mmmyesplease: A chickpea is neither a chick nor a pea.

----- ladysherlock: it's a legume!

----- nuravecunt: lol :|

----- courtneyfrances: the holy roman empire was neither holy nor roman nor an empire.

Wow. I had no idea some people were this... stupid? From http://notalwaysright.com/un-beaver-able/3859:

Me: "Hello, may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, I was wondering if every creature you have a statue of is actually living?"

Me: "Yes sir, everything you see in here you can find somewhere in the wilderness."

Customer: "Then why do you have a beaver?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "You heard me. If everything in here is actually a living creature then why do you have beavers?"

Me: "Well sir, beavers are living creatures. Haven’t you ever seen one in the pond down the road?"

Customer: "What? Beavers are real? My whole life I thought they were mythical creatures."

(The customer walks away, looking lost and confused.)

If things go horribly for me, this will probablyyyy be me somewhere down the line. From http://secrettweet.com/secret.php?id=61518:

Wish I could be mature enough to say I'm glad you're happily married, but I can't. She has everything I ever wanted with you.

Short, sweet, and to the point, but it really struck a chord with me for some reason. From http://twitter.com/arjunbasu/status/8002259107:

We fell in love because it was easier than sadness. And it was easier to stay in love, immobile, empty. We didn't talk much. But then we did

Made of win and awesome. From @Boston_Police and @willcady:

Boston_Police: INJURED OFFICER: Officer from district 4 transported to Beth Israel Hospital, human bite to arm, suspect in custody.

willcady: @Boston_Police if that was a zombie bite, would you tell us?

Boston_Police: @willcady Yes, absolutely

Everything else includes pictures, so I'm placing the rest of it under a cut!

( Click here to view the rest of the awesomeness! )

Let's have a little bit of Translation Party fun!

A couple weeks ago, Kyle (of the best podcast evar, I Just Had A Terrible Thought) and I were chit-chatting on AIM. I showed him the fun TParty website, and we spent idk how long doing our own translations, and browsing the other recent translations. Below, I copy-pasted a few of the funny ones I saved. I had a bunch more bookmarked, but either they've disappeared from the database of TParty is being difficult and not bringing them up! From an article from DownloadSquad.com, Translation Party is a site that automates the old trick of running a sentence through machine translation until it's humorously unintelligible. Instead of manually copy-pasting into Babelfish or Google Translate, you can just put in a phrase once, hit enter, and watch as Translation Party passes it back and forth between English and Japanese, getting further from your original meaning every time The translation doesn't stop until it reaches equilibrium, meaning that it repeatedly gets the same English result every time. Some phrases never achieve equilibrium, but Translation Party knows when that's happening and gives up after a while.

Kyle's original sentence:
Don't talk about the podcast so much. I'm a huge bosnian bitch and I don't like other people to have fun.

Please. And please, do not talk about podcasts. So, I was watching very Bosuniaherutsegobinabosuniaherutsegobina Bosuniaherutsegobinabosuniaherutsegobina another woman was in Bosnia.

It is doubtful that this phrase will ever reach equilibrium.

From the recent translations page:
I want to suck your dick and milk it until you explode of pure ecstasy.

Click to smoke some milk on your penis, and explosions are a pure joy.

My original sentence:
Boobs are so much fun to look at. I love porn!

Please read a lot of people to enjoy our hearts please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please. I love porn!

It is doubtful that this phrase will ever reach equilibrium.

So yeah. I had a blast over the course of a few days doing a variety of translations. If it ever got to "it's doubtful that this will equilibrium," I called that "breaking the internets." And that was my goal. To think of something so ridiculously stupid, it broke the internets. Funnily enough, it was usually the simpler sentences that broke it. I recommended TParty if you're bored, but I think it may be down currently...? It's not translating anything for me in either of my browsers (IE and Flock/Firefox) so if it's down for you as well, try it later!

From the thread I was so pissed when I found out Blue was a girl... from the When I Was Your Age, We Solved Blue's Clues With Steve, Not Joe group on Facebook:

dude, this is why steve left, when he heard blue [wasn't] a boy, he was probably like: "man, eff this shit. i'm going back to college. they'll teach me what's right instead of all this nonsense."

I dunno why, but when I read that, I loled so hard.